Parents and Rights
Displeasure of parents is a great calamity for children. The pleasure of Allah is obtained by cultivating the pleasure of parents. Displeasing parents results in the displeasure of Allah. Terrible torments and punishments have been mentioned by Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) for those who unjustly and wrongly displease their parents.
Obedience to parents apply to only such of their wishes, demands and orders which are lawful in the Shariah. If any order or wish of the parents is in conflict with the Shariah, then it is not permissible to obey them in such unlawful things. However, when compelled by the Shariah to disobey their unlawful demands and wishes, such disobedience has to be offered with tenderness, respect and without abusing or shouting at them. Even if one’s parents happen to be non-Muslims, respect and service to them are compulsory, but within the limits prescribed by the Shariah. Transgression of Shar’i limits in obedience and respect to parents are not permitted. This fact should be well understood.
Children are required to fulfil the wishes of their parents to the best of their ability and means, without doing injustice to others. Even if a parent’s wish is not among his/her obligatory rights, children should fulfil the wish if it is within their means and ability to do so. Children are required to tolerate with dignified patience and understanding the rebukes and reprimands of their parents even if they have acted wrongly and unjustly in reprimanding.
Children are never absolved of their duties to their parents. Age makes no difference whatsoever. No matter what age a man attains, he remains the child of his parents. Greater emphasis on obedience and service to parents is demanded by Islam when parents become ill, infirm and old. Muslims are not allowed to adopt the inhuman and unjust ways of treatment which westerners mete out to their parents. In old age, parents are to be cared for by their offspring in their homes. Parents are not chattel and lepers to be discarded and assigned to some ‘old age home’ as is the custom of the kuffaar.
A non-Muslim feels free of his parents when attaining the age of 21 years. He then no longer considers himself to be under the obligation and command of his parents. Parents in a western society generally have to fend for themselves. They are unwanted by their grownup children who feel that they have no time and obligation to tend to their old parents. They labour under the colossal absurdity of fulfilling the rights of parents by the silly custom of ‘mother’s day’ and ‘father’s day’. In Islam, every day is Mother’s Day, and every day is Father’s Day.
Parents were the gateway for children in this world and they will be the gateway for their children in the Aakhirat. Correct obedience and respect are thus incumbent duties which every Muslim must accord to his/her parents.
Those whose parents had died while being displeased with them should render numerous acts of Isaal-e-Thawaab on their behalf. Reciting Qur’aan and spending wealth in Allah’s Path are highly beneficial acts. Make du’a that Allah bestows the thawaab of such acts to your deceased parents who left this world displeased with you. Visit their graves often and make du’a for them. If possible then visit their graves every Friday.
(The Majlis Archives)