Husband Returning Home

Last updated on October 16th, 2025 at 05:47 am

Hazrat Jaabir (Radhiyallahu anhu) says: “In one Jihaad campaign we were with Nabi (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam). When we were returning and we were close to Madinah, I said to Nabi (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam): ‘Yaa Rasulallah! I have married just recently (but I had to come out for Jihaad. If you permit me to carry on ahead, so that I can reach home quickly?)’

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) asked: ‘Have you made nikaah?!’ I said: ‘Yes.’

He asked: ‘Is your wife a virgin, or was she previously married?’ I replied: ‘She is a widow.’

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: ‘Why did you not marry a virgin so that you play with her and she plays with you?’

When we reached Madinah and each one of us wanted to head for his home, Nabi (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam) said: ‘Wait a while. We will enter our homes in the evening so that she whose hair needs combing can comb her hair and she whose husband was away (out in Jihaad with us) can bathe and remove her unwanted hair.’” (Bukhari and Muslim – Mishkaat)

“Playing with each other” refers to openness and complete compatibility and attachment. The purport is that marrying a virgin is a source of greater bond, attachment and love. There is more openness with such a woman and more desire.

A widow, on the other hand, in view of having had a previous husband, has memories of her first husband. Secondly, if she does not find her living and bond with her second husband as she found with her first husband then she becomes depressed. The consequence of this is that she is not so open and happy as a virgin girl will be.

The last part of the Hadeeth discourages returning unexpectedly and abruptly. Time should be given for wives to clean and adorn themselves and prepare themselves for intimate relations. Coming to them in this way will not produce any dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

A question which may arise is that in another Hadeeth a musaafir is prohibited from entering his home at nighttime, whereas here the Sahaabah (Radhiyallahu anhum) were told to enter at night. The answer to this is that the one returning home and has been prohibited from entering his home at night is when he returns unexpectedly without prior notification. If, however, the family at home were informed ahead of arrival then in this case it is not prohibited to enter at night.

(Mazaahir-e-Haq)