Isolating a Man from His Parents

Last updated on December 28th, 2025 at 05:34 am

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Some women, the moment they get married, they endeavour to isolate the husband from his parents.

Yes, there is a need in these times that when marrying the husband and wife have a life of privacy and have their own home. This will ensure peace and comfort for both the parents and the newlywed couple.

I saw in Meerut a family which was perpetually fighting. A person from the family was associated with me. He corresponded with me. A letter of his came in which he complained about two things. One: “I tell the males and females of my household things of the Deen, but they do not listen.”

The second complaint was that, daily there was fighting and arguments in the house.

I responded that the answer to both your complaints is encapsulated in this poem:

کارِ خود کن، کارِ بیگانہ مکن

The first verse:

“Do what you can, and do not entangle yourself in what others must do.”

In this verse his complaint of them not practising on the Ta’leem he gives them of Deen, is answered. In this regard, the thing to do is to advise and carry on with your own work. Let them think for themselves. Why must you stress!?

The second complaint is answered in this verse:

در زمینِ دیگراں خانہ مکن

“Don’t make your home on the land of others.”

Don’t stay by others. I told him, “Immediately rent a house and go and stay there.”

This he did and he went to stay separately. From that very same day he gained peace and quietness.

His father was a simpleton. He used to say: “We must all stay together no matter what, even if we suffer cuts and wounds.” I am against such a proposition nowadays. My opinion is that nowadays, simultaneously with marriage the couple and the parents should have their own home.

Now, although this is the appropriate course in these times, but there is also a way to go and live separately. A woman does not have the right to separate a man from his parents in an unethical manner.

(Huqooqul Bait)